When most people think about estate planning, the first document that comes to mind is a Will. Your Will sets out how your assets are to be distributed after your passing, and who is responsible for carrying out your instructions. But there’s another, often overlooked, tool that can make your intentions clearer and help reduce family disputes: the Statement of Wishes.
What is a Statement of Wishes?
A Statement of Wishes is a written document that sits alongside your Will. Unlike the Will, it’s not legally binding, but it provides valuable context for your decisions. It acts as a guide for your executors, trustees, and even the courts, if there is ever a challenge.
Think of it as the story behind the Will. While the Will is a formal legal document with precise instructions, the Statement of Wishes is your chance to explain the “why” in plain English.
Why is it Useful?
One of the most common causes of family conflict after someone passes away is a lack of clarity. Beneficiaries may not understand why they were treated differently, or why certain family members were excluded altogether. This is especially relevant in blended families, where there may be children from different relationships, stepchildren, or new partners.
For example:
- You may choose to leave more to children from a first marriage to “balance out” past financial support.
- You may exclude an estranged family member due to a breakdown in the relationship.
- You may want to explain why assets are being held in trust for a beneficiary, rather than given outright.
In each case, the Statement of Wishes can provide the reasoning in your own words, reducing hurt feelings and helping your executors defend your estate if it’s ever challenged.
How Does it Work?
- Flexibility: Because it’s not legally binding, you can update your Statement of Wishes easily without needing to formally change your Will.
- Guidance: Executors and trustees often find it helpful to have a roadmap of what the Will-maker intended, especially in complex family situations.
- Evidence: If someone contests the Will, a Statement of Wishes can serve as evidence of your intentions. While it won’t override the Will, it can carry weight in court.
Practical Tips
- Keep it clear and respectful. Avoid inflammatory language. The aim is to explain, not inflame.
- Update it when your circumstances change — for example, after remarriage, birth of a child, or changes in family relationships.
- Store it with your Will, so your executors can find both documents together.
A Will is the foundation of any estate plan, but a Statement of Wishes adds a human touch. It gives you the chance to explain your decisions in your own words, reducing the risk of conflict and helping your family understand your intentions.
If you’re preparing or updating your Will, consider adding a Statement of Wishes. It’s a simple step that can make a world of difference for your loved ones when the time comes.